Urban Dictionary: coitus

Posted: November 27, 2014 in satire, sarcasm

LouisCypher:

Urban Dictionary: coitus
Urban Dictionary: coitus.

You randy Bastards out there finding it hard to dip your wick? Cop off? Get some ketchup on your sausage? Poke the fire? Put your maggot in a fishes mouth? Or even just get laid…
Fear not, a useless dickhead who hasn’t got a clue himself is here to help, or maybe hinder but if you ain’t getting any anyway it doesn’t really matter does it?
Well read on and click the link thingymebob to find out how to ask for a fuck with sheer class instead of like a drunken parasitic, possible nonce with a smegy cock..
You won’t regret it my son, well, you might but tbh, do you think i actually give a rats gonad of a fuck even if you get your teeth knocked down your throat for following my untested advice?
HAHAHA, of course i do young virgin, il even visit you in hospital with chocolates and a second hand penis pump.
That’s right, WHAT A GUY OUR UNCLE EDGAR IS, WHOOP WHOOP..
Now piss off but hit like first please, or i WILL find you :-/

Originally posted on Im Angry And I Know It :

Urban Dictionary: coitus.

Urban Dictionary: coitus

Urban Dictionary: coitus.

You randy Bastards out there finding it hard to dip your wick? Cop off? Get some ketchup on your sausage? Poke the fire? Put your maggot in a fishes mouth? Or even just get laid…
Fear not, a useless dickhead who hasn’t got a clue himself is here to help, or maybe hinder but if you ain’t getting any anyway it doesn’t really matter does it?
Well read on and click the link thingymebob to find out how to ask for a fuck with sheer class instead of like a drunken parasitic, possible nonce with a smegy cock..
You won’t regret it my son, well, you might but tbh, do you think i actually give a rats gonad of a fuck even if you get your teeth knocked down your throat for following my untested advice?
HAHAHA, of course…

View original 43 more words

Urban Dictionary: coitus

Posted: November 27, 2014 in satire, sarcasm

Originally posted on NEONCHIMPANZEE:

Urban Dictionary: coitus.

You randy Bastards out there finding it hard to dip your wick? Cop off? Get some ketchup on your sausage? Poke the fire? Put your maggot in a fishes mouth? Or even just get laid…
Fear not, a useless dickhead who hasn’t got a clue himself is here to help, or maybe hinder but if you ain’t getting any anyway it doesn’t really matter does it?
Well read on and click the link thingymebob to find out how to ask for a fuck with sheer class instead of like a drunken parasitic, possible nonce with a smegy cock..
You won’t regret it my son, well, you might but tbh, do you think i actually give a rats gonad of a fuck even if you get your teeth knocked down your throat for following my untested advice?
HAHAHA, of course i do young virgin, il even visit…

View original 36 more words

Falling into You

Posted: November 16, 2014 in poetry, sarcasm, satire, song
Tags: ,

Your holding on so i don’t see you cry, so tight tonight emotionally asking why?
Cos I’m falling,
Falling into you
Losing myself
Got lost in me and you
The screaming in my ear keeps silencing, everything I do. Lay down in the snow, coldness let me go, I love everywhere u go, love everything U do.
Cos I’m falling
Falling into you
Falling,
Falling into you
Cos i love you

The Bottom

Posted: October 29, 2014 in satire, sarcasm

Originally posted on Poems of The Lost:

Im here again, 14 - 1 (8)

Seems I’ve fallen through the cracks and see the bottom of this pit for what it really is, the top of the world.

It took skill to fall, skill to wreck a life that was destined for so much, it takes skill to be the fuck up that is me..

One false move, one slip, and all my hardwork could be undone,  id be right back on top again, successful and perfect, it takes skill to be me.

21.09.14 - 1

I’ll stay at the bottom, im invisible it seems down here, at least the Angels act like i don’t exist, they carry on with their meaningless life’s regardless..

Im here again, and this time im going to accept my fate and resign myself to an empty life wishing for a full end ..

I lay here in my melancholy waiting for a death that not only eludes me, it…

View original 43 more words

Run from Reality

Posted: October 29, 2014 in satire, sarcasm

Originally posted on Poems of The Lost:

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I can feel them in my dreams, closing in everynight until eventually sleep will bring no further respite for me..

Grasping it in their hands like their fucking life’s depended on it, trying to force it on me, as if the act alone will fulfil their own lives..

Reality, cold and sharp edged like razor wire and broken glass, their determined i join them in their world, their world of reality, because any other life they can’t understand..

2014 - 1

But i won’t come, il stay in the dreams of my minds making, my meditation that pulls images of unknown things from another dimension, who’s to say who’s life is more real?

When one dreams do we realise we are dreaming?or are we unaware until we awaken, are our life’s the same, only realise that it was a dream when we pass to another plane..

Il sleep, il stay, i shant be…

View original 36 more words

alone as i fall

Posted: October 29, 2014 in satire, sarcasm

Originally posted on Lazy Lyrics & Pompuss Poems:

Im here again, 14 - 1 (8)

Seems I’ve fallen through the cracks and see the bottom of this pit for what it really is, the top of the world.

It took skill to fall, skill to wreck a life that was destined for so much, it takes skill to be the fuck up that is me..

One false move, one slip, and all my hardwork could be undone,  id be right back on top again, successful and perfect, it takes skill to be me.

21.09.14 - 1

I’ll stay at the bottom, im invisible it seems down here, at least the Angels act like i don’t exist, they carry on with their meaningless life’s regardless..

Im here again, and this time im going to accept my fate and resign myself to an empty life wishing for a full end ..

I lay here in my melancholy waiting for a death that not only eludes me, it…

View original 43 more words

Originally posted on In The Pursuit Of Wisdom:

Evey: Who are you?
V. : Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask.
Evey: Well I can see that.
V. : Of course you can, I’m not questioning your powers of observation, I’m merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.
Evey: Oh, right.
V. : But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace soubriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona. Voila! In view humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the “vox populi” now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin, van guarding vice and vouchsafing…

View original 111 more words