Author: LouisCypher

A rambling, clanmbering, shambolic mess of a man born with a curse of a massive intellect forced into a brain that's seen too many crazy parties and lost more brain cells than were there in the first place. I've got an amazing talent of writing seven mediocre stories all at the same time, getting bored half way through and not even finishing them. At this present momemt ive got 237 drafts waiting to be finished, they will wait a long time. 90% of my writing is unfathomable drivvle from the very anus of the Devil himself after several days with a tumny bug and chocolate spread unwipable Diohreah. 8% is semi readable with only the occasional spelling mistake, missed words, paragraphs and vile profanities while the other 2% is sort of ok to good-ish but still littered with copius amounts of disgusting swear words like "Motherucker" So in summary, trying the find something worthwhile to read in this emarassment of feaces is like pricking yourself with a junkies used syringe in in your scrotum (or vagina, or hubbys scrotum it's your party) while sitting in the vatican wearing a Burkha. My advice..Swerve it and forget, but then again there are lots of pretty pictures and photos worth a look and if your very desperately horny, quite a bit of porn but i do require a recording back from you featuring you and your boinking buddy in acts carnal deprivation, water sports, chocolate choo choo train on a spoon and a rap song. Thank you ever so much, NOT
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A tree, a tree, we had been brought down from the city to the countryside for the first time in our lives, now we stood there all the cocky, arrogant, swagger knocked out of little bodies, eyes wide, mouths wider. Some of us were drooling, others were questioning why? Bobby Kelly pissed himself and he’d only just got dry, we all had one thing in common, every, single one of us was shit scared, it might as well have been an Alien from our nightmares stood in front of us, for the first time in our lives, at 14 years old, we’d seen our first tree and we were awestruck. Many elder members of my our family’s had ‘Never’ seen a tree, they even doubted they existed and spoke about them in the same hushed tones as Santa Claus and Loch Ness, right now i was evaluating my belief in both.. “Tree, tree, tree” the whisper rose into a chant, then suddenly into a weird, echoing whisper again, then blackness took me